第13章 REVELATIONS(3)
- Lincoln's Personal Life
- Nathaniel Wright Stephenson
- 981字
- 2019-07-19 01:19:01
The moment was a dreary one in Lincoln's fortunes.By dint of much reading of borrowed books,he had succeeded in obtaining from the easy-going powers that were in those days,a license to practise law.In the spring of 1837he removed to Springfield.He had scarcely a dollar in his pocket.Riding into Springfield on a borrowed horse,with all the property he owned,including his law books,in two saddlebags,he went to the only cabinet-maker in the town and ordered a single bedstead.He then went to the store of Joshua F.Speed.The meeting,an immensely eventful one for Lincoln,as well as a classic in the history of genius in poverty,is best told in Speed's words:"He came into my store,set his saddle-bags on the counter and inquired what the furnishings for a single bedstead would cost.I took slate and pencil,made a calculation and found the sum for furnishings complete,would amount to seventeen dollars in all.Said he:'It is probably cheap enough,but I want to say that,cheap as it is,I have not the money to pay;but if you will credit me until Christmas,and my experiment here as a lawyer is a success,Iwill pay you then.If I fail in that I will probably never pay you at all.'The tone of his voice was so melancholy that Ifelt for him.I looked up at him and I thought then as I think now that I never saw so gloomy and melancholy a face in my life.I said to him:'So small a debt seems to affect you so deeply,I think I can suggest a plan by which you will be able to attain your end without incurring any debt.I have a very large room and a very large double bed in it,which you are perfectly welcome to share with me if you choose.''Where is your room?'he asked.'Up-stairs,'said I,pointing to the stairs leading from the store to my room.Without saying a word,he took his saddle-bags on his arm,went upstairs,set them down on the floor,came down again,and with a face beaming with pleasure and smiles exclaimed,'Well,Speed,I'm moved.'"[6]
This was the beginning of a friendship which appears to have been the only one of its kind Lincoln ever had.Late in life,with his gifted private secretaries,with one or two brilliant men whom he did not meet until middle age,he had something like intimate comradeship.But even they did not break the prevailing solitude of his inner life.His aloofness of soul became a fixed condition.The one intruder in that lonely inner world was Speed.In the great collection of Lincoln's letters none have the intimate note except the letters to Speed.And even these are not truly intimate with the exception of a single group inspired all by the same train of events.The deep,instinctive reserve of Lincoln's nature was incurable.The exceptional group of letters involve his final love-affair.Four years after his removal to Springfield,Lincoln became engaged to Miss Mary Todd.By that time he had got a start at the law and was no longer in grinding poverty.
If not yet prosperous,he had acquired "prospects"--the strong likelihood of better things to come so dear to the buoyant heart of the early West.
Hospitable Springfield,some of whose best men had known him in the Legislature,opened its doors to him.His humble origin,his poor condition,were forgiven.In true Western fashion,he was frankly put on trial to show what was in him.If he could "make good"no further questions would be asked.And in every-day matters,his companionableness rose to the occasion.
Male Springfield was captivated almost as easily as New Salem.
But all this was of the outer life.If the ferment within was constant between 1835and 1840,the fact is lost in his taciturnity.But there is some evidence of a restless emotional life.
In the rebound after the woe following Ann's death,he had gone questing after happiness--such a real thing to him,now that he had discovered the terror of unhappiness--in a foolish half-hearted courtship of a bouncing,sensible girl named Mary Owens,who saw that he was not really in earnest,decided that he was deficient in those "little links that make up a woman's happiness,"and sent him about his business--rather,on the whole,to his relief.[7]The affair with Miss Todd had a different tone from the other.The lady was of another world socially.The West in those days swarmed with younger sons,or the equivalents of younger sons,seeking their fortunes,whom sisters and cousins were frequently visiting.Mary Todd was sister-in-law to a leading citizen of Springfield.Her origin was of Kentucky and Virginia,with definite claims to distinction.Though a family genealogy mounts as high as the sixth century,sober history is content with a grandfather and great grandfather who were military men of some repute,two great uncles who were governors,and another who was a cabinet minister.Rather imposing contrasted with the family tree of the child of Thomas Lincoln and Nancy Hanks!Even more significant was the lady's education.She had been to a school where young ladies of similar social pretensions were allowed to speak only the French language.She was keenly aware of the role marked out for her by destiny,and quite convinced that she would always in every way live up to it.
The course of her affair with Lincoln did not run smooth.
There were wide differences of temperament;quarrels of some sort--just what,gossip to this day has busied itself trying to discover--and on January 1,1841,the engagement was broken.