第45章 DRINKING.

From my own Apartment,October 23.

A method of spending one's time agreeably is a thing so little studied,that the common amusement of our young gentlemen,especially of such as are at a distance from those of the first breeding,is Drinking.This way of entertainment has custom on its side;but as much as it has prevailed,I believe there have been very few companies that have been guilty of excess this way,where there have not happened more accidents which make against than for the continuance of it.It is very common that events arise from a debauch which are fatal,and always such as are disagreeable.With all a man's reason and good sense about him,his tongue is apt to utter things out of mere gaiety of heart,which may displease his best friends.Who then would trust himself to the power of wine without saying more against it,than that it raises the imagination and depresses the judgment?Were there only this single consideration,that we are less masters of ourselves when we drink in the least proportion above the exigencies of thirst,I say,were this all that could be objected,it were sufficient to make us abhor this vice.But we may go on to say,that as he who drinks but a little is not master of himself,so he who drinks much is a slave to himself.As for my part,I ever esteemed a drunkard of all vicious persons the most vicious:for if our actions are to be weighed and considered according to the intention of them,what cannot we think of him,who puts himself into a circumstance wherein he can have no intention at all,but incapacitates himself for the duties and offices of life by a suspension of all his faculties?If a man considered that he cannot,under the oppression of drink,be a friend,a gentleman,a master,or a subject:that he has so long banished himself from all that is dear,and given up all that is sacred to him:he would even then think of a debauch with horror.

But when he looks still further and acknowledges that he is not only expelled out of all the relations of life,but also liable to offend against them all;what words can express the terror and detestation he would have of such a condition?And yet he owns all this of himself who says he was drunk last night.

As I have all along persisted in it,that all the vicious in general are in a state of death;so I think I may add to the non-existence of drunkards,that they died by their own hands.He is certainly as guilty of suicide who perishes by a slow,as he that is despatched by an immediate,poison.In my last lucubration I proposed the general use of water gruel,and hinted that it might not be amiss at this very season.But as there are some whose cases,in regard to their families,will not admit of delay,I have used my interest in several wards of the city,that the wholesome restorative above-mentioned may be given in tavern kitchens to all the morning draughtsmen within the walls when they call for wine before noon.

For a further restraint and mark upon such persons,I have given orders,that in all the offices where policies are drawn upon lives,it shall be added to the article which prohibits that the nominee should cross the sea,the words,"Provided also,that the above-mentioned A.B.shall not drink before dinner during the term mentioned in this indenture."I am not without hopes,that by this method I shall bring some unsizable friends of mine into shape and breadth,as well as others,who are languid and consumptive,into health and vigour.Most of the self-murderers whom I yet hinted at are such as preserve a certain regularity in taking their poison,and make it mix pretty well with their food.But the most conspicuous of those who destroy themselves,are such as in their youth fall into this sort of debauchery;and contract a certain uneasiness of spirit,which is not to be diverted but by tippling as often as they can fall into company in the day,and conclude with downright drunkenness at night.These gentlemen never know the satisfaction of youth,but skip the years of manhood,and are decrepit soon after they are of age.I was godfather to one of these old fellows.He is now three-and-thirty,which is the grand climacteric of a young drunkard.Iwent to visit the wretch this morning,with no other purpose but to rally him under the pain and uneasiness of being sober.

But as our faults are double when they affect others besides ourselves,so this vice is still more odious in a married than a single man.He that is the husband of a woman of honour,and comes home overloaded with wine,is still more contemptible in proportion to the regard we have to the unhappy consort of his bestiality.The imagination cannot shape to itself anything more monstrous and unnatural than the familiarities between drunkenness and chastity.

The wretched Astraea,who is the perfection of beauty and innocence,has long been thus condemned for life.The romantic tales of virgins devoted to the jaws of monsters,have nothing in them so terrible as the gift of Astraea to that Bacchanal.