第55章

Between two and three o'clock Lord Silverbridge, in spite of his sorrow, found himself able to eat his lunch at his club. The place was deserted, the Beargarden world having gone to the races. As he sat eating cold lamb and drinking soda-and-brandy he did confirm himself in certain modified resolutions, which might be more probably kept than those sterner laws of absolute renunciation to which he had thought of pledging himself in his half-starved morning condition. His father had spoken in very strong language against racing,--saying that those who went were either fools or rascals. He was sure this was exaggerated. Half the House of Lords and two-thirds of the House of Commons were to be seen at the Derby; but no doubt there were many rascals and fools, and he could not associate with the legislators without finding himself among the fools and rascals. He would,--and as soon as he could,--separate himself from the Major. And he would not bet. It was on that side of the sport that the rascals and the fools showed themselves. Of what service could betting be to him whom Providence had provided with all things wanted to make life pleasant? As to the drag, his father had in a certain measure approved of that, and he would keep the drag, as he must have some relaxation. But his great effort of all should be made in the House of Commons. He would endeavour to make his father perceive that he had appreciated that letter. He would always be in the House soon after four, and would remain there,--or, if possible, as long as the Speaker sat in the chair. He had already begun to feel that there was a difficulty in keeping his seat upon those benches. The half-hours there would be so much longer than elsewhere! An irresistible desire of sauntering out would come upon him. There were men the very sound of whose voices was already odious to him. There had come upon him a feeling in regard to certain orators, that when once they had begun there was no reason why they should ever stop. Words of some sort were always forthcoming, like spiders' webs. He did not think that he could learn to take a pleasure in sitting in the House; but he hoped that he might be man enough to do it, though it was not pleasant.

He would begin today, instead of going to the Oaks.

But before he went to the House he would see Lady Mabel Grex. And here it may be well to state that in making his resolutions as to a better life, he had considered much whether it would not be well for him to take a wife. His father had once told him that when he married, the house in Carlton Terrace should be his own. 'I will be a lodger if you will have me,' said the Duke; 'or if your wife should not like that, I will find a lodging elsewhere.' This had been the sadness and tenderness which had immediately followed the death of the Duchess. Marriage would steady him. Were he a married man, Tifto would of course disappear. Upon the whole he thought it would be good that should marry. And, if so, who could be so nice as Lady Mabel? That his father would be contented with Lady Mab, he was inclined to believe. There was no better blood in England.

And Lady Mabel was known to be clever, beautiful, and, her peculiar circumstances, very wise.

He was aware, however, of a certain drawback. Lady Mabel as his wife would be his superior, and in some degrees his master. Though not older she was wiser than he,--and not only wiser but more powerful also. And he was not quite sure but that she regarded him as a boy. He thought that she did love him,--or would do so if he asked her,--but that her love would be bestowed upon him as on an inferior creature. He was already jealous of his own dignity, and fearful lest he should miss the glory of being loved by this lovely one for his own sake,--for his own manhood, and his own gifts and character.

And yet his attraction to her was so great that now in the day of his sorrow he could think of no solace but what was to be found in her company. 'Not at the Oaks!' she said as soon as he was shown into the drawing-room.

'No,--not at the Oaks. Lord Grex is there, I suppose?'

'Oh yes;--that is a matter of course. Why are you a recreant?'

'The House sits today.'

'How virtuous! Is it coming to that,--that when the House sits you will never be absent?'

'That's the kind of life I'm going to lead. You haven't heard about Gerald?'

'About your brother?'

'Yes;--you haven't heard?'

'Not a word. I hope there is not misfortune.'

'But in deed there is,--a most terrible misfortune.' Then he told the whole story. How Gerald had been kept in London, and how he had gone down to Cambridge,--all in vain; how his father had taken the matter to heart, telling him that he had ruined his brother; and how he, in consequence, had determined not to go to the races.

'Then he said,' continued Silverbridge, 'that his children between them would bring him to his grave.'

'That was terrible.'

'Very terrible.'

'But what did he mean by that?' asked Lady Mabel, anxious to hear something about Lady Mary and Tregear.

'Well; of course what I did at Oxford made him unhappy; and now there is this affair of Gerald's.'

'He did not allude to your sister?'

'Yes he did. You have heard of all that. Tregear told you.'

'He told me something.'

'Of course my father does not like it.'

'Do you approve of it?'

'No,' said he--curtly and sturdily.

'Why not? You like Tregear.'

'Certainly I like Tregear. He is the friend among men, whom I like the best. I have only two real friends.'

'Who are they?' she asked, sinking her voice very low.

'He is one;--and you are the other. You know that.'

'I hoped that I was one,' she said. 'But if you love Tregear so dearly, why do you not approve of him for your sister?'

'I always knew that it would not do.'

'But why not?'

'Mary ought to marry a man of higher standing.'

'Of higher rank you mean. The daughter of Dukes have married commoners before.'

'It is not exactly that. I don't like to talk of it in that way. I knew it would make my father unhappy. In point of fact he can't marry her. What is the good of approving of a thing that is impossible?'