第31章

SURFACE.Brother it is with great concern--I am obliged to speak on this Point, but my Regard to justice obliges me--and Lady Sneerwell's injuries can no longer--be concealed--[Goes to the Door.]

Enter LADY SNEERWELL

SIR PETER.Soh! another French milliner egad! He has one in every Room in the House I suppose--LADY SNEERWELL.Ungrateful Charles! Well may you be surprised and feel for the indelicate situation which your Perfidy has forced me into.

CHARLES.Pray Unkle, is this another Plot of yours? for as I have Life I don't understand it.

SURFACE.I believe Sir there is but the evidence of one Person more necessary to make it extremely clear.

SIR PETER.And that Person--I imagine, is Mr.Snake--Rowley--you were perfectly right to bring him with us--and pray let him appear.

ROWLEY.Walk in, Mr.Snake--

Enter SNAKE

I thought his Testimony might be wanted--however it happens unluckily that He comes to confront Lady Sneerwell and not to support her--LADY SNEERWELL.A Villain!--Treacherous to me at last! Speak, Fellow, have you too conspired against me?

SNAKE.I beg your Ladyship--ten thousand Pardons--you paid me extremely Liberally for the Lie in question--but I unfortunately have been offer'd double to speak the Truth.

LADY SNEERWELL.The Torments of Shame and Disappointment on you all!

LADY TEAZLE.Hold--Lady Sneerwell--before you go let me thank you for the trouble you and that Gentleman have taken in writing Letters from me to Charles and answering them yourself--and let me also request you to make my Respects to the Scandalous College--of which you are President--and inform them that Lady Teazle, Licentiate, begs leave to return the diploma they granted her--as she leaves of[f]

Practice and kills Characters no longer.

LADY SNEERWELL.Provoking--insolent!--may your Husband live these fifty years!

[Exit.]

SIR PETER.Oons what a Fury----

LADY TEAZLE.A malicious Creature indeed!

SIR PETER.Hey--not for her last wish?--LADY TEAZLE.O No--

SIR OLIVER.Well Sir, and what have you to say now?

SURFACE.Sir, I am so confounded, to find that Lady Sneerwell could be guilty of suborning Mr.Snake in this manner to impose on us all that I know not what to say----however, lest her Revengeful Spirit should prompt her to injure my Brother I had certainly better follow her directly.

[Exit.]

SIR PETER.Moral to the last drop!

SIR OLIVER.Aye and marry her Joseph if you can.--Oil and Vinegar egad:--you'll do very well together.

ROWLEY.I believe we have no more occasion for Mr.Snake at Present--SNAKE.Before I go--I beg Pardon once for all for whatever uneasiness I have been the humble instrument of causing to the Parties present.

SIR PETER.Well--well you have made atonement by a good Deed at last--SNAKE.But I must Request of the Company that it shall never be known--SIR PETER.Hey!--what the Plague--are you ashamed of having done a right thing once in your life?

SNAKE.Ah: Sir--consider I live by the Badness of my Character!--I have nothing but my Infamy to depend on!--and, if it were once known that I had been betray'd into an honest Action, I should lose every Friend I have in the world.

SIR OLIVER.Well--well we'll not traduce you by saying anything to your Praise never fear.

[Exit SNAKE.]

SIR PETER.There's a precious Rogue--Yet that fellow is a Writer and a Critic.

LADY TEAZLE.See[,] Sir Oliver[,] there needs no persuasion now to reconcile your Nephew and Maria--SIR OLIVER.Aye--aye--that's as it should be and egad we'll have the wedding to-morrow morning--CHARLES.Thank you, dear Unkle!

SIR PETER.What! you rogue don't you ask the Girl's consent first--CHARLES.Oh, I have done that a long time--above a minute ago--nd She has look'd yes--

MARIA.For Shame--Charles--I protest Sir Peter, there has not been a word----SIR OLIVER.Well then the fewer the Better--may your love for each other never know--abatement.